Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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