So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
