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...so i touched it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
