When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
