Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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