Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
