so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
