And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need to sanitize my soul.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
