Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
