Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
