I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
