the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
