just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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