I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
