his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
