They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
