Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My life is pants optional.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
