it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
