my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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