I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
