he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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