she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
