Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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