dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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