I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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