You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
