Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
