the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
