I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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