My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My feet surprised me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
