i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
