3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
