She's JV to your varsity
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
