That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
