I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
