He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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