I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
