508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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