Whod you bang
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
