i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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