If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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