How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
