i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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