On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
