true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
