well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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