he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
