I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
