The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
