I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Less talking, more tequila
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
