He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
