Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
