quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
