I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
