I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
