i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
