I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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